When Do We Need to Become Parents of Our Parents—And How to Deal With This Challenge

By *Adil Seemab*

There comes a moment in life when the roles begin to turn.

The same hands that once held ours grow frail. The same voices that once guided us begin to tremble with questions. The same parents who taught us to walk, to speak, to dream—now lean on us for balance, patience, and care.

It is not a sudden shift. It arrives quietly. At first, they forget small things. Then they repeat questions. Later, they need us to drive them, to manage their medicines, to explain the world that has moved too fast for them.

One day, you realize—you are no longer only their child. You are also their parent.

The Challenge of Reversal

When my own parents grew older, I saw how hard it was to balance my children’s needs and theirs. Mansoor and Bazaid asked for my time, my energy. My parents, too, needed the same. Between the noise of the young and the silence of the old, I often stood torn.

The challenge is real. We love them both. Yet love stretches thin when demands rise on every side.

What Children Teach Us About Caring for Parents

One evening, Bazaid asked, “Baba, why do you get annoyed when Dada asks the same question again and again?”
I stayed quiet. He had seen through me.

Children have a way of holding a mirror to us. They remind us that patience is not only for the young—it is also for the old. The cycle of care is complete only when we give back what was once given to us.

How to Care for Parents With Dignity

1. See Them as Adults, Not Children
They may need care, but they still deserve respect. Decisions should involve them, not bypass them.

2. Balance Firmness With Kindness
Sometimes they resist help. Remember—it is not stubbornness, it is fear of losing independence.

3. Share the Load
Siblings, relatives, even children can share small acts—fetching water, reminding of medicines, sitting to listen. Care must not fall on one pair of shoulders.

4. Model Compassion for Your Children
The way you treat your parents is the way your children will treat you. They are watching, always.

The Larger Truth

Parenting parents is not about duty alone. It is about gratitude. It is about saying through action: I remember what you did for me, and now I will do it for you.

It is also about humility. Life is a circle. One day, we too will lean on the very children we now raise.

To become the parent of your parent is not easy. It tests patience, drains strength, and sometimes fills the heart with unspoken grief. But it also deepens love.

So when the time comes, do not resist the shift. Accept it. Walk with them gently, as they once walked with you.

Because in the end, to parent our parents is not a burden. It is the final chapter of love.