The Emotional Bank Account: Deposits That Shape a Child’s Soul

By Adil Seemab

Every child is born with an invisible account.
You cannot see it.
But it grows. Or empties. Every day.
Mansoor and Bazaid taught me this without knowing it.
When they were younger, they would run to me with small things. A drawing. A question. A fear before sleep. If I looked up from my work and listened, something settled inside them. If I waved them away, something withdrew. No drama. No protest. Just a quiet note made somewhere deep.
That was a deposit.
Or a withdrawal.
Children keep count even when we don’t.
A kind word goes in.
A broken promise comes out.
Time given adds interest.
Humiliation drains the account fast.
When a child feels heard, the balance grows.
When a child feels mocked, ignored, or shamed, it shrinks.
Years later, when boys become teenagers, they begin to test that balance.
Mansoor questions more now.
Bazaid challenges openly.
They push back. They disagree. They walk away mid-conversation.
If the account is full, they return.
If it is empty, they close the door.
Trust is not built in crisis.
It is built in ordinary days.
At dinner.
During car rides.
In shared silence.
In laughter over nothing important.
When we apologize after losing our temper, we deposit humility.
When we keep our word, we deposit safety.
When we sit beside them without fixing, we deposit belonging.
Shouting may gain obedience.
It never earns trust.
Fear may control behavior.
It never builds character.
One evening, after a hard day, I snapped. My voice rose. The room went still. Later, I went to Bazaid and said, “I was wrong.” He nodded. Said nothing. But his shoulders softened. Something returned to the account.
Repair is a powerful deposit.
Children do not need perfect parents.
They need present ones.
One who listens more than lectures.
One who sees effort, not just results.
One who chooses connection over control.
Because one day, when the world is loud and confusing, they will need to withdraw courage. Or honesty. Or help.
And whatever we deposited quietly over the years—
That is what they will find waiting for them.